


The heist

by Aryn



Category: Shadowhunters (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Fusion, BAMF Alec Lightwood, Brooklyn Nine-Nine - Freeform, Episode: s03e05 Halloween III, Established Relationship, Gen, Hijinks & Shenanigans, Human, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-03-14
Updated: 2017-03-14
Packaged: 2018-10-05 05:24:04
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,764
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/10298531
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aryn/pseuds/Aryn
Summary: It's the third round of the heist at their precinct. Magnus and Jace are tasked with stealing a crown by midnight, and both are eager to prove that they are the greatest detective of all time. But when they each brush Alec aside and leave him off their teams, all bets are off.aka the "Brooklyn Nine-Nine" AU that nobody asked for.





	

**Author's Note:**

> So I basically vomited this out in less than 24 hours. Sue me, I love "Brooklyn Nine-Nine," I love "Shadowhunters." I couldn't help myself. I got this idea in my head and I couldn't get rid of it. Literally, I had to stop in the middle of another piece I'm working on just to write this, and I had so much fun. Hopefully, this will make sense even if you haven't seen "Brooklyn Nine-Nine." I hope you guys enjoy it. As always, thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm on tumblr @steakandvodka

“Alright team, everybody gather round!” Luke’s voice echoed through the precinct as he walked to the center of the office. Everyone looked up at him, giving Luke their full attention. Well, almost everyone — Meliorn remained meditating at his desk. “Today has been relatively slow, and it’s looking to remain that way, so I thought now would be the perfect time to launch round three of the heist.”

Everyone except for Maia, who rolled her eyes and resumed her paperwork, lit up with excitement at Luke’s announcement. Jace literally leaped from his chair and stalked toward Magnus where he was perched on Alec’s desk, pointing a finger in his face.

“Oh, this is _happening._ You are _so_ going down Bane!”

Magnus scoffed at him. “Give me a break. It would be easier on all of us if you just gave up now, because I am going to crush you, just like I did last time.”

“Please, the only reason you won last year is because I let you win.”

Magnus outright laughed at that. “Yes, and are you pretending that you didn’t win the year before that due to pure dumb luck?”

“Children,” Luke interrupted before Jace could retort. “The two of you started this immature competition two years ago, and you each have won once, fair and square. This third round will act as a tie-breaker to decide which of you truly is the best detective here.”

“Hell yeah it will,” Jace said, bouncing on the balls of his feet. “What’s our mission this year Captain?”

Luke glanced at the clock. “It is now 2:15 p.m. I have placed a crown inside of a locked briefcase secured to the table in the interrogation room. Whoever is in possession of the crown at midnight will be declared the King of the precinct.”

Now Magnus was looking just as revved up as Jace. “What are our resources?”

“Just your intellect, and two other officers of your choosing. Magnus, since you won last year, you get first pick.”

Magnus hopped off Alec’s desk and strolled to the center of the room, making eye contact with each officer. He spared a quick grin and a wink to Alec before saying, “I pick Raphael.”

Alec’s eyebrows jumped in mild surprise, and he mumbled to himself as Raphael got up and shook Magnus’ hand. “Okay, close friends, good detective. I get it.”

“I pick Izzy,” Jace said.

“Sure, she has an impressive background in forensic pathology — could be useful,” Alec reasoned under his breath, but he was getting more uneasy.

“I pick Lydia,” Magnus said.

_“What?”_

“I pick Simon,” Jace said.

“Wait! Hold on a second!” Alec exclaimed as Simon fist-bumped Jace. Alec stood up quickly, his chair screeching against the floor as he did. Magnus and Jace stared at him with blank looks. “Aren’t you guys forgetting someone?”

“Sorry Alec, but there’s no way I’m letting you on my team. You and Magnus are disgustingly cute together, which means you would probably do anything to please him, including betray me.” Jace said, glaring suspiciously at Magnus and Alec.

“Excuse me?” Alec said, obviously offended by Jace’s accusation.

“Magnus could probably use you though. He’s going to need all the help he can get.”

Magnus narrowed his eyes at Jace. “Nice try, Wayland. But you and Alec have been best friends since you were kids. I wouldn’t put it past you to convince him to date me for the past eight months only to blindside me now.”

“You both are being ridiculous,” Alec said, but neither Jace nor Magnus looked like they were ready to believe him.

“Okay,” Luke said to break the tense silence. “The teams have been settled. You have until midnight tonight to secure the crown. The heist has officially begun.”

Magnus and Jace grabbed the arms of their teammates and ran to opposite ends of the office, leaving Alec standing there alone, wondering what the hell just happened.

\--

Jace drummed his fingers against his desk anxiously. Every now and again he would take a scan through the office to see if anyone was acting weirdly, but everything seemed normal.

Jace didn’t like giving up control of the mission to his teammates, but he needed to lay low in order to alleviate any suspicion from Magnus’ team. Simon and Lydia were each keeping watch on the briefcase, so Jace instructed Izzy to break in and steal the crown while Simon distracted Lydia. He was nervous about depending on Simon so much, but if there was one thing Simon was good at, it was distracting people.

His nerves were replaced with giddiness when Izzy appeared next to him and slipped the crown into one of his desk drawers. Jace scanned the room again to make sure nobody noticed. He narrowed his eyes briefly at Alec, but he had just turned a page over in his research, so Jace let out a relieved sigh.

“Man, my genius plan worked!” Jace said, and Izzy smirked at him as she sat on his desk. “I mean, obviously I knew it would.”

“You know I basically did all of the work, right?”

“Yeah, but you wouldn’t have been able to do any of that if it wasn’t for this baby right here,” Jace said, and he tapped his temple. Izzy rolled her eyes, but she didn’t respond. “Now all we have to do is coast until midnight, and the best part is Magnus has no idea!”

“Hey Jace?”

Jace tensed and Izzy slipped away to her desk when he turned and recognized Alec standing there. Alec didn’t look like he suspected Jace of anything, but Jace looked him over, inspecting him for any hidden microphones or cameras.

“Jace, quit it! I’m not working for Magnus,” Alec said, frustrated as Jace continued to examine him.

“Come on, Alec. You know that’s exactly what a spy would say.”

“I’m not a spy Jace, and I’m pretty insulted that you and Magnus think so little of me,” Alec said, and that finally got Jace’s attention. “Do you really think I would stoop so low as to go behind your back and ruin your chances at winning this stupid game just so Magnus would win?”

Jace put a hand on Alec’s shoulder and looked at him apologetically. “Ah man, I’m sorry. I didn’t know you took it that hard.”

“It’s fine, whatever. I just hate being left out of things like this, you know?”

“Yeah I…” But Jace trailed off and pressed his lips together. A snort broke its way through, and Alec furrowed his eyebrows at him.

“What?”

Finally, Jace couldn’t hold it in any longer, and he set off into a fit of giggles. Alec was just getting more confused. Once Jace had calmed down a bit, he wiped a tear from his face and said, “Oh, I’m sorry, but I just couldn’t keep up that charade any longer. I mean, you and Magnus obviously rehearsed this well, but do you really think I’m that stupid?”

Alec groaned, tilting his head up as if to pray for patience. “Jace, I’m not working for Magnus!”

“Yeah, okay. You can go ahead and tell Magnus that I don’t need his boyfriend’s help to steal the crown. I can beat him all on my own.”

Alec clenched his jaw as Jace took a seat and continued his work at his computer. He huffed an indignant breath and stomped out of the office, leaving Jace there to smirk at his back in triumph.

\--

“Jace has the crown,” Raphael said.

“Excellent,” Magnus smiled as he prepared his cup of coffee. “And Lydia is still with Simon in the interrogation room?”

“Yes, it appears none of them know that we let them get the crown first… Why did you want Jace to get the crown first again?”

Magnus smirked. “Jace is always at his weakest point when his ego is at its highest point. Letting him believe that he’s got the better of me will open the door for me to steal the crown right under his nose.” He turned to face Raphael as he stirred the cream and sugar into his drink. “Now, where did he stash it?”

“Top drawer of his desk,” Raphael said, and Magnus rolled his eyes.

“He’s so predictable. Alright, give me an hour and I will call you and Lydia with the details of our plan,” Magnus said. He noticed Raphael staring at something warily over his shoulder, and he turned to see Alec walking toward them with a scowl. Magnus quickly gestured for Raphael to leave, and then he shifted his full focus to Alec. “Alexander, what's with the long face?”

Alec gave him an unimpressed look. “Gee, I wonder what could be bothering me? Maybe it’s the fact that neither my best friend nor my boyfriend trusts me enough to help them with the heist?”

“Alexander — ” Magnus started to say, but Alec held up a hand to stop him.

“Look, it doesn’t matter anymore. Jace was a monumental dick to me back there, so now I want to help you destroy him. Whatever you need me to do, I’ll do it.”

Magnus took a sip of his coffee and regarded him pensively. “Hmm, you certainly are a skilled detective. You could be a quite effective secret weapon for me.”

Alec grinned at him. “Great. I was thinking since Jace already suspects I’m working with you, I could…” He trailed off when he noticed the look of pity Magnus was shooting him. “What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

“Oh darling, I’m sorry. But you and I both know you’re a terrible liar.”

Alec had to bite his lip hard to keep from yelling. Instead, his words came out in an angry whisper as he tried to reign in his frustration. “Magnus, I’m not Jace’s spy.”

“Sure, and I’m not Luke’s favorite,” Magnus chuckled. When Alec continued to glare at him, he continued. “I give you props for trying Alec, but I’m not about to be fooled by someone who has stuck by Jace’s side since they were ten, no matter how cute he might be.”

With a final wink, Magnus strutted away confidently, leaving Alec fuming behind him.

\--

Magnus was sitting at his desk, working out the final details of his plan to steal the crown back from Jace, when Maia called his name to get his attention. He quickly closed the folder to hide the details of his plan while she made his way to his desk.

“Maia, my dear, what can I do for you?”

“I need your completed paperwork on the armed robber you caught last week.”

“Ah yes, the Mr. Greene file,” Magnus said, and he slapped his palm down on the mountain of papers stacked at the corner of his desk. “I can probably get that to you by tomorrow at the latest, once I find it.”

  
Maia glared at the pile. “Just how many cases are all of these?”

“Oh, I lost count a long time ago,” Magnus said. He saw Maia was about to yell at him, but he held a finger up to stop her when he heard his cellphone began to ring. Digging it out of his pocket, he narrowed his eyes when he saw Clary’s face light up his screen, and he turned away from Maia to glare at Jace as he answered the call. “Biscuit, to what do I owe this pleasure?”

“Hey Magnus! Jace texted me earlier and said it was a boring day at the office, so I was wondering if you wanted to meet me for dinner in an hour or so?”

Magnus shook his head at Jace, who finally looked up from his work and smirked at him. “And why can’t Jace, Izzy or Simon go to dinner with you?”

“He said they were all caught up with some busywork. But he said you were free,” she said.

“Of course he did. Unfortunately biscuit, Jace was mistaken. I am quite busy for the rest of the evening.”

“Oh okay,” Clary even kept up the act and sounded disappointed, which made Magnus roll his eyes. “Well, I guess I’ll see you later then.”

“Yes, have a good day Clary.”

“Bye Magnus,” Clary said, and Magnus ended the call.

“Pathetic,” Magnus sneered at Jace, and then he turned around to give Maia pleasant smile. She continued to scowl between him and the stack of paperwork. “Like I said — once the heist is over, I’ll dig through these and have your papers to you by tomorrow at the latest.”

Maia gave a resigned sigh and mumbled, “They’re _your_ papers,” under her breath as she walked away.

Once she was out of earshot, Magnus looked around the office to make sure no one was watching him, and then he opened his folder and called Raphael.

“Magnus,” Raphael answered on the first ring.

“Hey, I have our plan, but you’re not going to like it,” Magnus murmured.

“ _Dios_ , what is it?”

  
“I need you to make a deal with the devil.”

\--

Jace checked the clock. 9:43. Just over two hours and he would win the heist, and neither Magnus nor any of his teammates seemed to have any clue where the crown was actually located. Despite Jace’s satisfaction of having beaten Magnus so easily, he couldn’t help but feel a bit underwhelmed. It all seemed _too_ easy. The last two years, there was always some drama involved, but perhaps this year would be different.

As if on cue, the elevator doors opened to the office, and Camille stepped out.

_‘Well, I_ did _hope for drama,’_ Jace thought. _‘Be careful what you wish for Jace.’_

“Camille!” He greeted loudly so everyone in the precinct would hear him. Out of the corner of his eye, Jace saw Alec raise his head and look on with shocked and horrified eyes. “What are you doing here?”

“Where’s Raphael?” Camille asked through gritted teeth.

“I’m right here Camille,” Raphael said as he stepped out of Luke’s office and made his way over to her. “What could possibly be so important to make you barge in here and interrupt me at my place of work?”

“You know exactly why I’m here. Don’t bullshit me Raphael,” Camille sneered with menace as she got right in his face.

As Jace watched their confrontation escalate, he got up from his seat to go and break them up. However, the second he stood up, Jace thought twice about what he was doing. This all seemed very fishy. Instead of walking over to Camille and Raphael, Jace took a seat on his desk over the drawers and tried to diffuse the situation from there.

“Calm down guys! I’m sure there is a way we can settle this like reasonable adults.”

But the two continued to argue, and Jace was none the wiser as Magnus slipped in through the open window behind Jace. He crawled over and unscrewed the back of the drawer, the sound drowned out by Camille and Raphael’s shouting. Once he grabbed the crown, Magnus stood and held it up for his team to see, and he started walking to the break room.

Magnus was almost vibrating with excitement at the success of his brilliant plan as he opened the door to the break room and —

“Ahh!”

Meliorn was meditating on top of one of the tables, undisturbed by Magnus’ shriek. Magnus clutched his chest with the hand that wasn’t gripping the crown. He spared a second to glare at Meliorn before looking frantically throughout the room. Jace would have definitely heard Magnus’ yell from his desk, and Magnus didn’t think Raphael would be able to keep him away from the break room long enough to allow him to stash the crown in the ceiling vent like they’d planned. In the corner of the room, Magnus spotted a waste basket, so he rushed over and stuffed the crown in the trash just as Jace burst into the room.

“What is going on in here?”

“Nothing. Meliorn just surprised me when I entered the room,” Magnus said, and he turned to Meliorn then. “I don’t really see why you feel the need to meditate all over the office. Don’t you have work to do?”

Meliorn opened one eye to glance at Magnus, but he just closed it again without responding. Magnus huffed.

Jace was not about to let Magnus change the subject. “What were you doing in here?”

“I have the right to come in here and enjoy a snack, just like every other employee.”

“Really.”

“Why are you so suspicious Jace?” Raphael asked as he appeared in the doorway. “I thought the crown was still in the interrogation room?”

Jace was clearly thrown off by the question, and Magnus sent a smug smile to Raphael. “Of course it is,” Jace answered. “I just don’t trust you guys not to start making trouble when you start getting desperate. It’s almost midnight, you know.”

“Oh, we know Wayland,” Magnus said as the three of them left the break room, keeping close eyes on each other. “We know.”

Magnus grabbed Raphael’s wrist and took him to his desk as Jace walked over to his. “Where’s the crown?” Raphael whispered.

“I put it in the trash can,” Magnus said. “Wait a little bit so you won’t tip Jace off, then go retrieve it and we’ll figure out a different place to hide it. The break room is too risky now.”

Raphael nodded in agreement and walked off. For the next few minutes Magnus pretended to do work while he kept eyes on Jace and Izzy, who were talking at Jace’s desk. His foot tapped anxiously against the floor as he waited for Raphael to make his move.

After what seemed like forever, Raphael came back to his desk, but he didn’t have the crown with him. “It wasn’t there,” Raphael said.

“What do you mean it wasn’t there?”

“What do you think that means? The crown was gone when I got there. It wasn’t in the trashcan.”

“Damn it. Jace must have nabbed it somehow. But how do we get it back?” Magnus snapped his finger in realization. “Meliorn! He was there the whole time. He’ll have seen who took it and where they took off with it.” He looked up at Raphael. “Go get Lydia. We need to do some interrogating.”

\--

Meanwhile, Jace was describing what had happened in the break room to Izzy.

“That sets off all sorts of alarm bells. Are you sure they didn’t steal the crown while you were in the break room confronting Magnus?” Izzy asked.

Jace’s eyes widened, and he opened his top drawer to find the crown missing. “Fuck! That son of a bitch is good. Text Simon and tell him to grab the security tapes. We need to see what they did with the crown.”

When Simon returned to them, their group watched as Magnus took the crown from Jace’s desk and darted into the break room, only to be scared by Meliorn.

“Then you and Raphael follow him,” Simon said, speeding up the video. “And the three of you leave without the crown.”

“Meliorn was the only person left in the room,” Jace realized. “Do you think he would have taken it?”

“No, Meliorn doesn’t give a shit about stuff like this,” Izzy said. “But he would have seen who retrieved it from the trash.”

Jace looked at the other two and nodded. The three of them stood and started walking to Meliorn’s desk. At the same time, Magnus, Raphael and Lydia were making their way over as well. Both groups eyed each other as they sped up steadily, until they were sprinting and crashed together next to Meliorn.

“Which of them took the crown?!” Jace and Magnus yelled in unison as they pointed at each other. Then they looked at each other in shock.

“You don’t have the crown?” Jace asked.

“ _You_ don’t have the crown?” Magnus returned.

“Neither of you have the crown,” Meliorn said, looking thoroughly apathetic. “The janitor, Al, took the trash out right after you guys left.”

A stunned silence took over the group. Then Lydia said, “We’re always the last stop of the night for maintenance workers. He’ll have gone home by now.”

The six officers turned as a group to face Maia, whose desk was across from Meliorn’s. Everyone in the precinct knew that Maia was the one who kept track of all the relevant and irrelevant details to do with the entire department. She gave them all an unimpressed look, but spoke up before anyone could resort to begging her for the information. “He lives at the apartment complex on Beaker Street. Apartment 1304.”

Another split second of quiet followed Maia’s words. Then the teams were racing out of the precinct, Magnus and Jace shouting curses at one another. Maia and Meliorn were left shaking their heads at them.

\--

Magnus and Jace’s teams got to the building at the same time, and they shoved each other out of the way to get to the elevator. Raphael got there first, and Magnus gave a shout of triumph before Raphael groaned, “It’s out of order.”

Magnus looked at the stairs next to him. “That’s thirteen flights of stairs then. We better pace ourselves — ” Magnus was cut off by Jace pushing past him to run up the stairs two at a time. “Just kidding! Go as fast as you can!”

\--

Magnus and Jace panted up the final steps to floor thirteen and stumbled their way to Al’s apartment. Jace knocked first. “Yes! I have defeated you!” He said through heaving breaths.

“You wish. You can have the crown after you pry it from my cold, dead hands,” Magnus breathed just as the door opened. The woman behind it regarded them warily.

“Where’s Al?” Jace asked desperately.

“Why are you looking for Al?”

“Ma’am, we are with the NYPD,” Magnus growled and flashed his badge, clearly losing his patience. “We need Al for official business. Where is he?”

When the woman just looked disgruntled at his rudeness, Jace said, “Sorry about him. It’s been a long day. Now, is Al here?”

“He’s having a cigarette on the roof.”

“The roof?” Jace whined while Magnus looked back at the stairs miserably.

\--

Seventeen additional flights of stairs later, Magnus pushed open the door to the roof weakly. “Yes! I am the greatest athlete of all time! Suck it Usain Bolt,” Magnus said as he tried to wipe away the river of sweat running down his face.

Jace, meanwhile, was breathing heavily and was hunched over, his hands braced on his knees. “I think I’m gonna vomit.”

“Al?” Magnus called out breathily. He looked around the roof, but it seemed to be empty except for the two of them. “Al? Where’s Al?”

From a corner in the darkness, a voice called out, “Al’s not here. But I am.” And out of the shadows stepped Alec — a big smirk on his face.

“Oh no,” Magnus groaned while Jace stared at him, stunned.

“Oh yes,” Alec answered as he came closer, the smirk still on his face.

Finally Izzy, Lydia, Simon, and Raphael made it up to the roof and nearly collapsed over each other into a pile of exhausted officers. Izzy furrowed her eyebrows at the sight of her older brother. “Alec? What are you doing here?” She asked as she clutched the stitch in her side.

“I’m here to win the heist.”

“I don’t understand,” Raphael said.

“Allow me to explain,” Jace said before Alec could speak. He walked over to him and draped an arm around Alec’s shoulder, and Alec flinched at the sweat all over him. “Alec and I were behind this the whole time.”

“Uh no,” Alec said as he shrugged off Jace’s arm. “You were not a part of this. Back to the loser’s side.” He pushed Jace back toward Magnus and the others.

“Worth a shot,” Jace mumbled.

“How did you pull it off?” Lydia asked.

“It was simple really. It all started when neither Magnus nor Jace trusted me enough to let me be a help to them in securing the crown. I realized then that I wasn’t the only officer who was carelessly brushed aside in all of this — there was also Maia and Meliorn.”

“But Maia and Meliorn don’t care about the heist!” Jace protested.

“True, but give them the opportunity to humiliate the two of you and they are surprisingly eager to get involved. Although the first accomplice wasn’t even Maia or Meliorn — it was Clary.”

Jace looked confused, but Magnus scoffed. “That phone call? I saw it for what it was instantly — a cheap ploy by Jace to distract me.”

“I didn’t tell Clary to call you,” Jace said.

“I did,” Alec said, and Magnus gaped at him. “I knew you would recognize the call as a distraction tactic, but you didn’t realize what it was distracting you from. Don’t you remember that Maia was right next to you while you took that call? When you turned to keep your eyes on Jace as you talked to Clary, I had Maia slip a bug in the middle of that pile of paperwork you refuse to complete.”

Magnus winced as the rest group looked at him judgmentally. “That’s why you guys keep your desks clear.”

“After you were bugged, I was able to listen in while you told Raphael and Lydia about your plan to distract Jace with Camille while you stole the crown from his desk. I told Meliorn to wait in the break room to scare you when you arrived…”

“And I stashed the crown in the trash can,” Magnus finished.

“Exactly as I planned. After you, Jace, and Raphael left, Meliorn took the crown and gave it to me. I told Meliorn to tell you guys that the janitor took it when you went to him for help, and I gave Maia this address to send you when you asked her where to go. Then all I had to do was stick an ‘Out Of Order’ sign on the perfectly functional elevator and wait for you imbeciles to climb up thirty flights of stairs to find me here.”

Izzy whistled. “I’m impressed big brother.”

Alec looked at Magnus with narrowed eyes. “You thought I was just Jace’s lap dog. And you thought I was just Magnus’ boyfriend,” he said, glaring at Jace. “But the truth is I’m an independent person and a damn good detective, capable of humiliating the two of you and winning the heist in the process.”

“I am so attracted to you right now,” Magnus breathed with wide eyes. Alec flashed him a smirk.

“One last question,” Jace said. “Where’s the crown now?”

Alec’s smirk widened.

\--

When Alec led the others into The Hunter’s Moon, he was met with applause from Maia, Meliorn, Clary, and Luke. Alec gave a subtle bow, and then he walked over to the group to shake their hands. Clary jumped up to give him a hug when she handed him the crown.

Luke clapped a hand on his back when Alec reached him. “Good work son. I always knew you had it in you.”

“Thanks Captain.”

Alec turned and walked over to Magnus with the crown in his hands. “I believe, as last year’s winner, it is your job to crown the new champion?”

Magnus sighed and rolled his eyes, but he didn’t look displeased at all. He gestured for Alec to take a seat on one of the bar stools, and then he snapped his fingers twice to grab the attention of the others. “All hail the crown of destiny!” He said dramatically. “And all hail he who wears it! Everyone behold the best and most beautiful detective in all of the NYPD, Alexander Lightwood — King of the precinct,” Magnus declared, and he placed the crown on Alec’s head as their group applauded him.

Alec stood and took another bow as the cheers continued. “And a special thanks to my wonderful minions: Clary, Maia, and Meliorn. I couldn’t have done it without you.”

The three raised their beers to salute him.  

“Man, this is _wild_ ,” Simon said. “Now three people have each won the heist one time.”

“Yeah, I guess next year will have to be the true championship to decide who is the greatest of all time,” Jace said as he took a swig from his beer. “Right Captain?”

Luke seemed to have just realized this as Simon pointed it out, and he groaned. “Oh dear lord.”


End file.
